iconI’m not very photogene, so don’t expect to find many pictures of me anywhere. Now, what to tell you about myself. Well, there is so much, I wrote a book about it, so that is the best way to really get to know me. However, like most people I change and evolve with each passing day. So, another good way to get to know me and find out what I am up to, is my blog. I don’t spend as much time writing there as I like, but whenever I can I post something new. You’ll find updates on my projects, ideas and new designs there as much as I share my thoughts and opinions on what I feel is important.

However, here is a quick run down on who I am.

 

I was born in 1979 in Germany. By medical standard back then I should not even exist since my mother was paralyzed from the waist down since she was a little child. Well, my parents proofed those docs wrong, didn’t they? In addition to that, I should not have come into the world by normal ways, but again, my mother proofed them wrong.  Still, I wasn’t born flawless but with clubbed feet and Nail-Patella Syndrome (NPS). Medical treatment took care of my clubbed feet, but nobody knew much about NPS at that time, it was luck that it was even diagnosed. If not for my clubbed feet, which send me into the child clinic shortly after birth, and a professor who studies in the US, nobody would have known why my nails were developed wrongly and my patella misshapen. In any case, there was no treatment for the deformities caused by NPS and in hindsight I’m glad about that.

I grew up with a parent in a wheelchair, another parent with severe back problems and later partial paralyzed due to a stroke, as well as my own handicaps and deformities. My life until school was more sheltered then that of other children, not that I knew that back then, but my parents wanted to have me to themselves for as long as possible. They acted out of love, and had no harm in mind, sadly the best intentions can turn out to be a bad thing. Because I didn’t hang out with many other children until I started school in the age of six, I had very little social skills and far to high expectations what life in school and with my peers would be like. From the first day if faced adversity, disdain, and even hate. I was bullied for my walk, caused by my misshapen patella’s. I was teased for my slender almost anorexic shape, caused by NPS. I was laughed at for my deformed finger nails and every day began to feel like a walk through hell. There was much more, but I spare you the details, it would take a book to fill them and what they caused to my mind and soul.

Over the years things changed, children grew into teens and we all became a little wiser, or grew a thicker skin. Maybe we build a wall or created a box in our minds where we put all that hurt and things we couldn’t deal with. In any case, I managed to make some friends and some of my problems became easier to deal with. At least the mental ones.

I graduated secondary school in 1995 and entered an apprenticeship program to become a special sales manager (closet translation there is to the job) I should have been on the way to a solid and simple future, but much of the baggage that was created in my earlier years in school came back to haunt me. The insecurities, easy way to hurt me, and fear of abuse was no help when my instructor turned out to be a mean bully who preferred to yell at his employees and treat them like idiots and scum. Needless to say I didn’t make it long. Within a year I changed branches but the old guy had connections and was hunting me even then, making my life miserable by making sure my new instructor knew of all my “flaws, shortcomings and lazy attitude”. I finished my first year and then quit, unable to take any more.

Since I wasn’t 18 at that point I was forced to return to school. I wasn’t happy about it at first but unlike the first time in school, I made friends quickly and even managed to improve my grades this time around. It was also the year I turned 18 and became legally an adult. An adult who could buy and drink booze. I managed to finish the year and graduate, but only barely. I discovered bars, a kind of social life inside those bars and alcohol made me able to interact without feeling awkward or out of place. I fell in love with a man and discovered how lost you can get in love, so much you might lose yourself. At least for some time. Within the next year I experienced and tried all those things teens usually do over the course of a few years.

Then I got the biggest and most important wake up call in my life. I was pregnant and everything changed.

I left the bar scene, moved into an apartment near my parents, tried to life with the father of my child until I realized he wasn’t worth it and found a man who accepted me, my child and who loved me as much as came to love him. I married, got a job, and pulled my act together in general. Life wasn’t easy, but it was good and I was happy. I got pregnant again, and gave birth to a wonderful little boy that was adored by his big sister and the whole family. In the same year we moved to France to safe money in taxes and living costs.

I was on maternity leaf and as much as I loved being a mom all the time, I got bored quick. I began to roam online communities and was often asked to help with information’s about immigrating to France. Which led to me creating a website with all that info and to being asked by a publisher to put all that info into a book. I was intrigued but worried about me being dyslexic and I told the publisher about my fears. He only told me, “that’s what editors are for” and encouraged me to at least try. Half a year later my first was published. Shortly after that he signed me for a second book and I discovered my love for writing, no matter that I was horrid in spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Sadly, in the same year my husband lost his job and it was hard to find a new one. I had the same problem. He was considered to old and I was considered unreliable since I had two children to take care of. The situation became such that we needed to make a hard decision, to keep fighting windmills or to move on to a place that had none.

It was the hardest decision in my life, when I agreed with my husband to move and immigrate to Canada, where had been offered a well-paying job. There were thousands of reasons to go and only one to stay. Our families. Leaving them behind was the hardest thing but the benefits of taking this step outweigh any emotional ties I had. Throughout my life there have been people who said I was heartless, had no emotions and didn’t allow myself to feel. That’s not true, I feel, deeply. But, I can push those feelings into the back and make my decision based on facts and what’s best for the growth and future of my family and most of all my children.

In 2007 we entered Canada and began a new life. It’s ten years now and lots has happened in those years. I worked in sales, then as a cook and got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which forced me to give up my job in 2014. Which in turn forced me to revaluate my life. Unlike people grown up here I didn’t have the chance to get a High School education, or a secondary education through college or university. My body no longer allowed me to do work that involved physical labor, and felt lost for some time.

I returned to writing, at first just to kill time, then as I considered publishing and self-publishing, I returned to it in earnest. I discovered my passion for design and art during that time and began self-educating myself in that area as well.  I haven’t stopped learning and trying since then and I don’t think I ever will ever stop again. In 2015 I published my first book in English and in 2016 I opened the doors of Nicole Kiefer Design in addition to my writing career. My life is far from perfect, I’m not making a fortune and I don’t want the fame, but I’m what is most important in my mind. Happy…. Well most of the time at least. Don’t get me wrong, there are day’s that are dark and filled with pain and suffering. I have spells of depression and my Fibro flares up far too often for my taste. There are always problems and troubles to deal with and at times it seems like the dark days are more then the ones I’m happy. But that’s life, it’s what makes it worth living and worth experiencing. Otherwise, life would be boring.

For more about me read my book or visit and bookmark my blog.

 

About me

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